Our Story Continued

The night they met, January 17, 2010, began at a little Phở restaurant. Matt and Oscar were already at the restaurant when Topher joined them. Though Oscar and Topher had to face each other diagonally at the table, it was as if Matt weren’t there. After dinner, they all went to drop off Oscar’s car at his place so he could ride with either Matt or Topher to the movies. The whole time Oscar was thinking to himself, “I hope I ride in Topher’s car.”

He ran back outside and Topher immediately said, “You are going with me.” That made Oscar smile. Before the movie, they decided to get a drink and went to Santana Row. The V bar.  Topher and Oscar were unsure about one more drink and Topher made the call, “We’re sharing one!” After the drink they went to the movies, The Young Victoria with Emily Blunt. Walking behind Topher on their way into the theater, Oscar had the urge to hug Topher from behind. He couldn’t resist. Oscar remembers thinking, “I just met this guy; I shouldn’t be touching him” but he hugged Topher anyway. During the movie, Oscar recalls looking at Topher and thinking, “This guy is cute!” Topher then smiled at Oscar. Oh! That smile! Topher later admitted that he totally gave Oscar a big grin when he looked over during the movie because he wanted Oscar to know he liked him.

 What a difference a day makes. 24 little hours.

After a few dates they called Matt and thanked him for the introduction. He said that he could see the sparkle in their eyes that first night.

Since then their relationship has been filled with a love of traveling, going to the theatre, and dinners with friends.

The Proposal

About two years into our relationship, our biological clocks started ticking. We started looking into all the different ways to start a family. We realized that before starting the adoption process, we wanted to get married first (G-d forbid we have a child out of wedlock.)

Oscar had always said that he’d be the one to propose and took it on himself to organize everything. Fortunately, he involved Topher with the ring design process, but as soon as that was done, Topher was supposed to just sit back and wait.

…and wait…


“Are the rings done yet? They were supposed to be done in July. Did you pick them up?”

…and wait…


“Did you talk to my dad yet?” (Oscar wanted to get Topher’s dad’s blessing.)

…and wait…


“Why are we already planning the wedding??? You still haven’t asked yet!”

…and wait…


Suffice it to say, Topher wasn’t the most patient. But Oscar had a plan. Oscar suggested two birthday presents that he’d like from Topher. One was a messenger bag for work, the other was a cute, couples photo session with Topher’s second shooter. Knowing Topher would always choose an experiential gift over a physical one, the session was booked and the plan was set. All the while, Topher was still waiting…

Topher knew that this session would be a great time for Oscar to propose. It had all the right elements: a good camera and good lighting. But keeping up the effort to make the proposal a surprise, Oscar insisted that the photo session was his birthday present and not when he’d be proposing. He had to play dumb when Topher dropped hints about the session being an engagement session. The whole while Topher and Oscar had the same idea of when it should happen, but Oscar continued to divert. Did we mention Topher was impatient? 

One evening Topher was browsing creative gigs on Craigslist and found a photographer looking for engaged couples to take pictures of. Topher thought it might be fun but the photographer was looking for REAL engaged couples. “Too bad we’re not engaged yet,” Topher quipped. Later that night, Oscar emailed the photographer and said he wasn’t engaged yet, but was planning on proposing that weekend and hoped she could capture the moment.

The proposal went off without a hitch at one of their favorite parks in Palo Alto. Master planner that he is, Oscar even sneakily dressed Topher for the occasion. Knowing that Topher always grabs the top shirt in the drawer, Oscar placed the right shirt there so they would be matching.

At the park, Oscar led Topher out to an open field and as soon as he started talking Topher realized that this was the moment. Also the sight of some random photographer pointing her camera in their direction left no doubt that the proposal was happening.

Looking back, after the fact, Topher and Oscar laughed because they pretty much planned the proposal with the same ideas in mind, but Topher was so impatient that Oscar had to move things up a bit.